Quixotic Ash

Gus: "Are you crazy?"

Shawn: "I wouldn't say crazy. Maybe an eccentric who looks good in jeans."
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I have been waiting all year to post this.

(via doodlesandmusicandlove)

Tonight, I went on a blind date. I let Cathy set me up with this guy Mark, whom she went on two dates with herself. He think they’d be better off as friends, apparently, and so she agreed to set him up with “pretty girls”. Hence, our blind date. It went fine. Nothing too exciting to talk about, though. It was just a chill time at this coffee shop/bar (odd combo, that). We sat outside by the fire pit and had a beer each, talked and laughed and shivered bravely in the cold. I dunno. I’m not like, “OhhhhhhhmyGoddddddheeeee’stheonnnnneeeee!!!” or anything. More like, he was cute, he seemed very nice, and I wouldn’t mind spending time with him again. At the same time, I’m also not feeling bubbly and excited and eager about all of it. If I never see him again, I’m going to survive life just fine. So we’ll see. I sent the obligatory thank you text earlier, so the ball is in his court. I’ve zero interest in pursuing him because I’ve zero interest in having a boyfriend. If it happens, it happens, but I’m not putting in any fucking effort.

I will say, it was so incredibly lovely to have a guy ask me out and then pay for the bill, no questions asked, no awkward pauses, nothing. He’s the guy, and he took care of it. Simple. Ahhhhhhh, how refreshing!

In other news, it was my birthday on Monday. I’m 26 now! It’s kind of crazy to think about, but I’m pretty okay with it. The last two birthdays I’ve been all “Nooooooooo!” but this year I think I don’t really care. I’m older. Whatever. I’m still sexy, so it’s okay.

I had a really wonderful birthday, though. I slept in, cleaned my apartment a little, and then my parents picked me up around noon. We went and saw Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol at the IMAX. As a rule, I dislike Tom Cruise, and this movie didn’t endear him to me. He wasn’t dreadful, but he was very much Tom Cruise. One of the best lines he had was, “I’m gonna get that briefcase.” Which was, of course, said as if it was the most important sentence to be uttered in the history of man. He’s just so ridiculous. The only reason I liked the movie is that they are okay with the fact that he’s so Tom Cruise; it actually works for the plot, which is just so ridiculous. And also, there were some cool explosions.

I mean, look at the poster:


After the movie, we went to lunch, then came back to my apartment and opened presents. They left and I went to Claire’s and got my ears pierced. I have three on the left earlobe and two on the right. It was funny because I realized as I was walking to my car afterward that I’ve only ever gotten my ears pierced on my birthday and it’s always been eight years apart between piercings. I got my first two for my 10th birthday. I got my second left piercing for my 18th. And I got the third left and second right piercings for this birthday, the 26th. That’s eight years between each. How unintentionally random!

That night, I went to Main Event, which is a bowling/pool/laser tag/miniature golf/arcade place…with a bar. A bunch of my friends all came out. The place was unexpectedly swamped, so we didn’t get the $10 wristbands they apparently have every Monday night right off the bat like we expected to. It was a little disappointing because I wanted to dive right in and go bowling as a big group, but there was nothing I could do about it. We ended up getting appetizers and drinks and hanging out in the bar area. A pool table opened up so I played pool with a few people. That was fun. I miss playing pool. Loren and I decided we need to start doing that again on a regular basis. Lots of people left around 10pm because of work the next day (blah blah blah), and eventually it was just Keenan, Matt (who now works at the country club and who I’d met two nights earlier for Loren’s birthday outing downtown), Brittney, and Loren. But we had so much fun! We got the wristbands after all and played some bowling. I got a 123 in the second game, and my last frame was a spare and then a strike. That was so badass. And then we jumped in and played a round of laser tag before the place closed, and that was just absolutely hilarious. I got 6th place out of like 11. I was okay with that. Even if I’d lost, I would have been okay with my score because running around and shooting at people in the dark was way too fun.

So yeah, all in all, it was actually pretty flipping fun. I got some presents from people (which was completely unnecessary, but lovely), Keenan gave me a back massage, and I nailed a really difficult pool shot. And, I got drunk. Always a plus.

I haven’t updated this in awhile. Really, it’s just laziness. Maybe I’ll start being better about it. 

For now, four things.

1) It is exactly one month until my birthday. On January 2nd, I’ll be 26. This is the last year I can say I’m in my mid-twenties. That, sir, is frightening. Then I’ll be in my late-twenties and THEN I’LL BE 30, OH GOD. Because, I mean, think about it…four years and one month until I’m 30. That’s like, as long as high school again, and then, BAM! 30. And in one month, when I’m 26, it’ll have been five years since I was 21. Which is a long time. I just still think of it is as not that long ago. But that’s half a decade.

I mean, this is me when I was 21:

I wore a watch when I was 21. I haven’t worn a watch in years.

2) Lexi came over last night and I introduced her to Sherlock. As in Sherlock Holmes. As in, the exceedingly excellent British show with Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman. I knew she’d love it. And she did. She actually kind of freaked out over it. Which is perfectly fine because the show is sheer perfection. We watched episode one, “A Study in Pink”, and there is not a single flaw with that one.

Also, as a side note, Benedict Cumberbatch/Sherlock looks a heck of a lot like Colin Morgan/Merlin.

It’s like Colin is Benedict’s younger brother.

3) Simone and I had plans to hang out tonight, but it really just involved me coming over or her coming over to my place and then watching When Harry Met Sally together. She’d never seen it before, and I took this news as her having a serious character defect. It’s just such an awesome movie. The dialogue kills me.

Like the, “You’re right, you’re right, I know you’re right.”

Anyway, before I could even leave work, Simone texted me and asked if I wanted to go get Indian food before the movie. Nearly freaked out, I was so excited. I LOOOOOVE Indian food. So she takes me to this place that’s like 5 minutes from work…and it’s the place I went to with my parents two years ago, the last time I had Indian food. Same exact place. They even still had the ornate velvet wallpaper as before. And the best fucking Chicken tiki masala I’ve had in ages. Mmmmmmm. Ooo, and I had some kind of goat curry.

Simone liked When Harry Met Sally, by the way. I knew she would.

4) I’ve been marathoning episodes of The Office lately. The US one. I plan on watching the British one next. Point is, Tobey was in my dream two nights ago. Not in a sexual way or creepy way. He was just there, chilling, smiling at me in that Tobey way.

He seems so nice.

There. That was four things.

  • Chris: You know what you should do since you're not busy? Apparate your ass here and give me a back massage!
  • Ash: Oh. Yeah, I can't apparate yet. I haven't passed the test. It's illegal.
  • Chris: Never stopped Harry.
  • Ash: Harry had extenuating circumstances. Namely, defeating Voldemort.
  • Chris: Blah blah details blah.
  • Ash: He also never graduated from secondary school, but I don't think that's an excellent example to follow either.
  • Chris: I think someone is jealous of Harry cause he actually got his letter to Hogwarts.
  • Ash: ... Maybe.

Along with my friend Lexi, I run a book club/social group known as the Austin Twilighters. We meet up three times a month on average to read a vampire-themed fiction book and to do other fun things like watch vampire-themed movies (like the Underworld movies, for instance) or hang out together. It’s great fun. And yes, some of the members are super into Twilight, but that’s not the honest purpose of the club, to gush over Twilight. That would be retarded. Also, I wouldn’t be able to stand it. Twilight is fun, but it’s not amazing. It’s just one more vampire book series that’s out there, not the best of the bunch or the end all of what it means to be a vampire. Lord, could you imagine if it was? Sparkly vampires as the norm, instead of the exception? Yick.

Lexi is the one who started up Austin Twilighters on meetup.com, and I’ve been a part of it since the very first meeting back in January 2009. It’s technically her group, but after about five months went by and we exploded into suddenly having regular members and meetups, I basically took over all the organizing duties. At this point, I manage the site, plan the meetups, maintain the group’s facebook page, and deal with any problems as they pop up. That’s not to say that Lexi doesn’t do anything at all; I often call her up and make her help me think of fun meetup activities or get her to help me decide on a restaurant or some such. And sometimes I’ll just make her do all the work of putting a meetup event online. Other members sometimes think of event ideas, which I LOVE.

But, like I said, I deal with the problems, since I pretty much do everything for the group, on a regular basis. And we recently had a problem where we got spammed by another group of Twilight fans in the Austin area, known as the TwilightMoms. Some lady named Candice sent Lexi and I (and a few others, based on feedback) this message:

Breaking Dawn Private Screening in Austin: Tickets on sale now!     

Hi- I’m Candice. I am a member of the TwilightMoms organization. I have been a Twilighter since 2008. I am also in the Austin TwilightMoms group. We are a group of ladies (with and without kids) from all over Texas. We get together for character birthdays (Legal to Love Lautner V-day/ B-day), have DVD release parties, girls nights out, go to the Twilight Conventions, red carpet premieres…
For each new movie in the saga we hold a private midnight screening. We rent a theater and have a party! We will be hosting a private midnight screening at iPic theaters in Austin. It’s a big event! We start on November 17th with dining, drinks, games, prizes, auctions, and raffles…We have signed items from the the actors and musicians, awesome stuff! Our official charity is Alex’s Lemonade Stand Foundation (children’s cancer research and funding). This year we have adopted a second charity, Jaspers Army, in support of deployed troops. Every penny we raise goes to these wonderful organizations. Tickets are on sale now! Why wait until the go on sale to the public? Please visit the blog for info on tickets and upcoming events.

Alex’s Lemonade Stand Foundation:

Our fundraising page:

Austin TwilightMoms blog:

We love making new friends!

Normally, when people send me a greeting message, it’s got a question about MY group in it. Or they really want to say hi. Typically, I’m the one who greets each new member first, and a few of them will respond back. What Candice sent me is straight up spam. I don’t give a shit about any of this information. Legal to Love Lautner V-Day? What the fuck? And why do they have charities? Am I supposed to come to this iPic screening and then give them lots of money for charity? Because that’s exactly what I want to do with my time and money: spend it with a bunch of insane TwiMoms.

You can imagine my delight when I also discovered that she made a meetup event for her TwiMoms’ premiere dealio.

Granted, any member can make a meetup event if they so choose to. Like I said, I love it when the other members think of ideas for us, and if they want to also put it on the site, I’m happy to make it an official meetup. Monique did this earlier this week for three meetups we’re going to have at her apartment in November.

But making an event for YOUR OTHER GROUP on my group’s event calendar? Without discussing it with me first? After you’ve spammed a bunch of us about it? Go fall in a hole, you rude psycho.

Candice joined the Austin Twilighters facebook group, and I accepted her into it without realizing who she was, exactly. It was late, I was tired, and…oops. BIG MISTAKE. She added other TwiMoms, and I got spammed all over again about her stupidass premiere dealio.

Hi- thanks for adding me to the Austin Twilighters page.
I just wanted to let you know that I am the Candice who posted on the meetup page about a midnight screening of Breaking Dawn. I was removed from the meetup page for spamming. I want to extend my apologies as ‘spamming’ was certainly not my intention. I was just very excited to find another large group of Twilight/ vampire fans in Austin. And to let all the Austin Twilighters know that ‘we’ existed. And we’d like to invite all of you to attend the premiere we host.
I saw that there was a poll on the facebook page about meeting up for the movie and where and getting tickets. I wanted to ask if it would be okay with you, as the admin of the page, if I added to the conversation that I know where you can get tickets to the midnight release right now?
If yo have questions for me about our group or why we hold the premiere (no we don’t make any money), please contact me.
Thanks ~ Candice

If spamming wasn’t the intention, why did she spam me…again? Why did her minion, Laura Lee, also spam me WITH THIS SAME INFORMATION? If she could see that we were already in the process of getting our own premiere meetup event organized, why the HELL would I care about her own group’s event?

Obviously, I responded.

You’re welcome, Candice.
I think we all are aware about the iPic option from you guys. You’ve already mentioned it on the wall, and the girls in my group who are interested in iPic in general have already indicated to you whether or not they want to go. I know my group, and the three that responded to you are probably all you’re going to get from us, would be my guess. The rest of us aren’t very choosy in where we go as long as we get to go with each other. 
I’m not surprised you got removed from the meetup page - you did send like 3 messages, and in all honesty, it felt like an advertisement, not like a typical, “Hey, this is who I am!” kind of greeting message. Meetup.com probably saw that as spam.
I don’t have any questions for you about the premiere. Frankly, I’m already sick of hearing about the premiere, and it’s only the end of September. I’m going to pick a theatre for our group to go where we can have a fun, casual time, dress up if we want, and that will be that.
The Austin Twilighters aren’t a bunch of Twilight fanatics. Some of us are definitely super into Twilight, and that’s a-okay. The books and movies are certainly great! But the group is more about connecting with other people who enjoy vampire fiction and movies and having fun together. If you look at the group’s page on meetup.com, you’ll see that we don’t really do a whooooole lot of “Twilight events”. That’s limiting and would get pretty dull pretty quickly. We read one book a month that’s in the vampire fiction genre, and we usually have at least one other social meetup a month (sometimes even a third!). This last Sunday, for example, we went and played miniature golf together. Which has nothing to do with Twilight or vampires. Which is fine with us. We’re about getting to know each other and having fun, like I said.
Every time you’ve contacted me, it’s been about your Twimom’s group’s premiere, nothing about you personally, nothing about how you want to get to know any of us in my group, nothing about coming to a meetup and getting to meet us and having us meet you. It’s a shame.

You asked to join the Austin Twilighters, and we’re a pretty awesome group of people. I guess what I’m saying is that I wish I could see a little less “Rah rah rah!” about your other group and its premiere plans and more about you as an individual wanting to get to know us and us getting to know you. Wouldn’t that be nice? I think so.

She hasn’t responded to me. I think she sensed the “Shut the fuck up already!” that I was oh so subtly underlining my message with. So hey, it worked!

I don’t know what I’ll do if I have to meet her. It looks like we’re going to meet up and have dinner together as a group, and on the facebook page, she was becoming exceedingly enthusiastic about the idea. She has also suggested a ridiculously overpriced Italian place we could go to. Because it totally makes sense to have 16 of us descend upon a fancy Italian restaurant at 6pm on a Thursday and expect to sit together. I suppose I could make a reservation, but that won’t change the fact that dinner would cost about $30-$40 per person. Fantastic suggestion, Candice, really. So thrilled you joined my group.

Bottom line: TwiMoms are annoying.

I’ve been saying forever that I’m going to turn my tumblr into a blog. So let’s finally start doing that, yeah? And what better way to kick things off than with a story, complete with photos? None!

On Wednesday, I went over to Simone’s house, and Linny brought over a cake. See, the thing is, they wanted to watch Up. More specifically, they wanted me to watch Up. And I said the only way I would show up to watch that movie is if someone brought over chocolate. Hence, Linny and the cake.

I don’t like animated films. I really never have. Oh, of course, there are one or two that aren’t dreadful, but these are rare, and I’ve made very little effort to discover more. That would require watching animated films, and that’s something to be avoided at all costs.

I can’t seem to connect in with the characters or stories when it’s an animated film. I just don’t care about what’s happening to them. There’s a disconnect, and overall, I feel apathetic the whole time I’m watching an animated film. Remember Wall-E, how it won all those awards and everyone went all gaga over it? I distinctly recall several of my friends proclaiming, “This is the best animated film ever made! Ash, you’ll love it! You HAVE to watch it!” And so on. So after much grumbling, I watched Wall-E…and I didn’t care. Sure, it was cute, or whatever, but ultimately, that’s two hours of my life I’m never going to get back.

I’m okay with a movie that has animation in it, as long as the whole thing isn’t animated. I love Avatar, for instance. But that whole movie isn’t some stupid animated world with cutsey kid shit going on. Avatar has real actors with real facial expressions, and it has explosions. Oh, and it’s sci-fi. How can I not love it? Compare that with Cars, or Finding Nemo, or pretty much any other popular animated movie. So not anywhere in the same ballpark.

Anyway, Linny brought over a chocolate cake, so I was okay with being made to watch Up, although in all honesty, I would have preferred to watch an episode or two of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

Here’s the adorable Up Cake.

That's Jazz, Simone's dog, being all, "Gimme that cake!"

Only then, Simone took it away from me and went to pop off the top. And promptly dropped it, face down, on top of her laptop. We all sort of paused in horror, and then I started laughing so hard, I cried. Because as she was removing the top, I was thinking, “Oh my, Simone seems a bit wobbly there. But I’m sure she’s got it.” And then… BAM! The Up Cake went down.

Naturally, we HAD to try to save the Up Cake. You know, emergency cosmetic surgery.

This was the end result. It’s not very pretty. But we ate it anyway.

As for Up…I didn’t really like it. It was okay, sure, and I can see why other people went so crazy for it back when it first came out, but…I couldn’t connect with it. I didn’t care if Carl ever got his stupid house to Paradise Falls, and the kid, Russell, was just annoying as fuck. The talking dog, Dug, was the only thing I liked about the movie.

Simone and Linny are convinced that I do not have a soul because I didn’t like Up. Oh well. At least I don’t drop cakes.

  • Kate: Okay, you know what though, Ma? I'm here now, and I'm FINE.
  • Rita: Well? I'M NOT. And I wanna know where you were this morning! I have a right to know!
  • Kate: No you do NOT have a right to know! You have NO right, Mother! I am twenty-eight years old!
  • Rita: Don't give me that! I'm fifty-four! I'm gonna be dead soon!
  • Kate: GOD! [storms off]
  • Rita: Where are you going?